Lost in wonderland, drowning in hopelessness – that was my eternal destination before Christ found me. Confusion, doubt, insecurities, and anxiousness were my closest friends. Emotional turmoil was my normal and perfectionism was my identity. Because I did not know Christ on a personal and relational level, I placed all of my faith in myself. As you can imagine, I was always left incredibly empty and void until He fulfilled me.
My Story
I grew up in your typical southern, lukewarm, Christian household. I knew of Christ from an extremely young age, but I did not know the One who created me and intricately knitted me in an intimate way. At some point in my walk of life, Christ revealed himself to me in such a glorious way. At the time, I had been trudging through a series of ongoing battles; battles that I could no longer carry on my own. I began to grow rather depressed in the midst of my warfare. I was struggling with the reality of graduating high school, my parents' marriage was wavering, I felt responsible to fix things that were totally out of my control, and starting college added to the stress. This resulted in a young girl falling to her knees, entirely alone in her room, talking to God for the first time in a really long time.
Conversation, Communion, and Conviction
This prayer, this conversation, this moment of intimate communion with the Father altered the entire trajectory of my life. After being vulnerable before my Maker, I chose to pick up His Word. Again, I spent my entire life “believing” in this God that I had little to no knowledge of. I never delighted in His Word. I never read of His character. I had never known Christ personally. However, this moment changed it all. After spending time in prayer, I was convicted and graciously led to read God’s Word for myself. I wanted to know Him and His story. I wanted to look at Him instead of everything falling apart around me and within me. And so I did, not by my own accord, but because His Holy Spirit met me in my pain and called me to Himself.
After coming to Christ, I endured spiritual warfare that was honestly mind-boggling to me. The enemy attempted to lead me astray from Christ who had called me home. As always, the enemy failed and Christ reigned victorious in regards to my salvation. Praise God! The first passage of Scripture that I read was Isaiah 43. In this portion of God’s Word, I learned that Christ had called me by name. I was His child, eternally. No matter what rivers of warfare and trials of fire that I walk through, He will always go before me. He will not let the enemy ensnare me.
Called and Set Apart
Isaiah 43:1-3 states, “But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.”
While this portion of Scripture is directed to Israel, reminding them that God is not a burden or a difficulty but rather a delight, it is also applicable to the believer. God loves and cherishes His children. He has called us His and has set us apart for the advancement of His kingdom. This truth ignited a deep passion to dive into the beautiful realm of Scripture. So, I started reading the New Testament from Matthew to Revelation. As I read the Gospel for myself, the lenses of worldliness fell from my vision… and I was able to see for the first time ever.
To the friend who is reading this, maybe you are questioning your set of circumstances and contemplating whether or not you should give God a chance. I pray my story of conversion will minister to your heart. Without Christ, we are dead in our sin. In Him, we are set free. The only way to the Father is through Christ alone. He died on the cross and rose from the grave on your behalf. His Gospel message brings forth regeneration and newness. You may be hopeless where you are now. But I can assure you, in Christ, you are given an overflowing ebb of hope. That hope flows directly from the heart of Christ. Trust in Him today. Pray to Him. Talk with Him. Open His perfect, infallible Word. He will meet you there.
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